Wednesday, August 25, 2010

I made out with RPattz! (sort of.)

Ahh it's Wednesday...hump day! Usually I would be stoked that it's semi-close to the weekend but today I just want to be in my bed, sleeping, and dreaming of hot hot men, men that make me want to hump on this "hump day". It's not just because I love my sleep time, which I do....seriously I'm pretty sure I was born with chronic mono. The main reason I want to be sleeping is because my dream of dating Rob Pattinson was interrupted by my stupid alarm clock.

The dream may not sound like much to some people but dude.... even if I had a dream Robert Pattinson walked by me, accidentally tripping me and didn't even give a second glance as I was laying on the ground with a broken would still be a dream with Rpattz and is therefore better than all other dreams. In this dream I was staying at my dad and step mom's house and had to stay awake all night for some reason. About 5:00 in the morning two guys came in. One was Rpattz. Now, if this happened in real life, would elicit the reaction of "Holy shit, Robert Pattinson is IN MY HOUSE!! I'M GONNA CRAP MY PANTS!" and then I'd need new pants. But for some reason I was cool and calm in my dream..that should have been my first sign that I was dreaming, but I was oblivious. My mind probably told me "Hey Jamie, you're dreaming....and Rob Pattinson is in your dream so just pretend it's reality and don't wake up!!!"

The other guy (I can only assume was his manager or PR rep...something like that) and my dad told us we needed to rest for a few hours before we had to all leave to go somewhere and they left the house. Again, in real life I would be thinking "If Rpattz and I are in a bed resting....we aren't going to be 'resting'!!"
Would you be able to get sleep if you were laying next to him? Me either.
I was right...we didn't sleep, we did other things (Get your minds out of the gutter..but hehe I wish). We fell in and out of sleep (yes, in the same bed... it was fantastic!) and just layed there talking for hours. I know this may sound boring to some people but have you HEARD his accent??? The second he speaks, pants just fly off of woman everywhere, no joke! Way too soon, there was a knock on the door and we were told we needed to get up. We had to go to some conference but for some reason it looked more like a cafeteria mixed with a small college class. Don't mind makes it's own images. For some reason time had fast forwarded between us laying in the same bed and the conference because we were now sort of dating. I'm not gonna was awesome. Pure bliss and in my dream I was the happiest I've ever been. Yes I know this probably makes my life sad but I don't even care. At the conference we didn't sit near each other, I sat with my friend Amanda and he sat with Taylor Lautner. Like I said before, in real life I would be so star struck that I wouldn't be able to talk except to studder non-stop and form a bunch of non-words. In my dream I apparently was immune to their hotness and didn't care that they were famous heartthrobs. They were just actors who were completely normal to me...and I'd like to believe that's how I would be if I ever met them but nope! I'd turn into a newborn, (human, not vampire) pooping, peeing, drooling, and making coo-ing noises.

It looked a little something like this... minus the Comic Con stuff in the background
[Unfortunately this is the part where it gets sad and I hate to say it, but Rob Pattinson broke my little heart.] I was back and forth from my table to his in between lectures and he told me because of the media, we couldn't say that we were dating. He had to pretend to be dating someone else. Someone like a doctor or teacher. "Like that girl" he said, as a studious looking woman walked by his table. What I didn't understand was that I don't look like a super studious type but I'm not a blond bimbo looking chick either. So I just got extremely mad, said "Fine!" and stormed off back to my table. I went back and forth between my table and outside [not sure what I was doing because at this point I kept waking up from my dream but luckily I was able to fall back asleep and jump back into it.] Apparently I was friends with Taylor Lautner because him and I kept talking about it outside... and he eventually got Rob to change his mind, so we were back to dating. I sat down next to him at his table and he kissed me. Like really kissed me. A lot. I remember thinking in my dream "So this is what it's like to kiss Robert's even better than it looks on screen!" Let me emphasize, IT DIDN'T FEEL LIKE A DREAM!!

Eventually Amanda and I convinced them to skip their flight and come hang out with us at our house for the night so we could go out and have some drinks. Again, if this was real life, and Rpattz was at my house, I wouldn't be leaving my house let alone the bedroom, just sayin. I also probably wouldn't be drinking because I would want to remember the entire night (ya know, cuz one drink turns into twenty and pretty soon I'm Blackout Betty.) Then for some reason (this is where I get pissed off again in my dream) Amanda said "I don't think they can come over... my boyfriend is coming over tonight" Seriously, are you freaking kidding me?!?! Boyfriend?!?! IT'S ROB AND TAYLOR! It was at this point I knew that I was dreaming, because Amanda would never ever give up the opportunity to have these guys come hang out with us and I'm pretty sure she would break up with whoever she was dating at the time for a chance to get it on with a warewolf (or someone who plays one in a movie...even if he is 10 years younger than her.)

That was pretty much where my alarm clock went off and I was abruptly brought back to reality. Usually I would still be pissed off about being woken up from such an amazing dream but I'm looking on the bright side... and it's a VERY bright side, my friends. I know some people don't remember their dreams, some people know they are dreaming and some people dream in black and white. But I was given this gift of having extremely vivid colorful dreams..they feel so real that when I wake up, it doesn't feel like a dream, it feels like a memory. And sometimes months or years later, I will still remember the dream and think "Did I dream that, or did that really happen?" This is the only reason, I'm not mad about being woken up. Because to me, it feels like a memory. A memory of making out with Robert Pattinson. How many people can say they have that memory burned into their brain?

Shut up Kristen Stewart, I'm not talking to you.

Sunday, August 15, 2010


She's incognito!

I guess I should explain who Demanda is. Really, I'm not sure how to sum her up in one little teeny weeny blog because after seventeen years of friendship how can I do that without leaving off some bits of awesomeness? Sure, she's all things a good friend is; loyal, sweet, honest, funny as all hell, but she's also so much more than that.

To say that we laugh a lot when we are together is putting it mildly. We will have a fifteen minute convo based on nothing except words that we made up and we feel genuinely bad any time we hang out with someone new who doesn't "get us" because they just stare off in to space thinking "who the F are these crazy bitches?!?!" You might think I'm kidding but my mom called me the other day and this is how our convo started:

Mom- "Hey...why do you and Demanda even write on facebook? You guys talk in this weird code and I'm pretty sure no one even has a clue what you're talking about. What's the point?"

Jaymes- "So? I don't write on there so everyone can get it. Besides, it's funny."

Mom- "Only to you and her!"

Jaymes- "But who else matters??"

Mom- "You guys are so weird."

I changed the subject after that because she knew I was going to win that argument. Demanda and I are awesome. End of story.

Demanda is older than I am by 4 months and a whole hell of a lot more gullible. The first time I realized this was when we had just graduated high school. We took a trip to the city we now live in to visit the college and I told her a fake fun fact about the Denny's restaurant. Without question she believed me and within five minutes, she had passed on the same fun fact to another friend. After discovering this little gem about Demanda's personality, I randomly throw out fun facts/random bits of info just to see if she'll believe me...which 9 out of 10 times, she does (and I'm a horrible liar).

NO idea why this picture came up when I googled "gullible" but it's alright with me because I too love peanut butter!

Another thing about Demanda is that she is a riot when she drinks. It doesn't take much to get her drunk (hint, hint) and once she has a buzz going on, she turns into the energizer bunny of talking/singing/dancing. She's rarely ever quiet or mellow when she's been hittin the bottle... if she is, it's probably because someone roofied her (which has a party on top of a tattoo shop our first week in college but that's another blurry story). We are very much opposites in the fact that when I've been drinking people think I'm sober. When she's sober, people think she's been drinking. I guess that we balance each other out quite well.

Currently Demanda is obsessed with all things Twilight. Even after years of trying to get her to read the books, she hopped on the train a little later than most. But she's doing one hell of a job catching up! She and I went to Twilight and New Moon when they came out in theaters but she wasn't that impressed. She didn't really see the whole obsession, especially with BertPatz. At least once a month I would try desperately to get her to read the books so she could understand what everyone on Earth was crapping their pants about. Finally when Eclipse came out, she was all about Twilight like it was some new awesome drug that she had just ingested/sniffed/shot up.*** She's been speeding through the books, watching Twilight/New Moon every night and reading all things Twilight online. Every day she has some new info/question about the books/movies/actors and I think it's fucking phenomenal... not just "borderline."

The reason her nickname is Demanda is because she's sometimes demanding..and I mean that in the sweetest way possible. She's not demanding in a bitchy way, more like in a funny way. Example:

Demanda: "Make me something to eat!"

Jaymes; "Um..... no!"

Demanda: "But you're closer to the kitchen than I am!"

Jaymes: "So not true!"

Demanda: (getting up and moving farther away from the kitchen!) "It's true now!"

Another nickname we have for her is "Mandatory" but that's just based on the fact that when any of our friends type the word "Manda" into our phones, it auto corrects it to "Mandatory" it's not as funny but is kind of true since life without Demanda would be dullsville. Hopefully you all enjoy her company as much as I do. She's pretty badass. Almost as much as this guy.

Who am I kidding? He IS badass. I'm just jealous of the poster.
***For the record, Demanda is very anti-drugs. She says she doesn't need them to act crazy...which is very true.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Introducing...... US!

Holy crap it's our very first blog! We're finally on our way to possibly phenomenal and no longer on just on the borderline. Yeah, we'll see.

We're Amanda and Jamie. Or "Demanda" and "Jaymes" as we are sometimes known as (ya know cuz we be famous and all.) We've known each other forever. Not like out of the womb or anything, but pretty damn close. It's been about seventeen years since this phenomenal heterosexual life partnership started and we haven't even gotten close to running out of things to talk about.

Yep....pretty much sums it up!

Lately we've realized we have more to say than usual and wondering if we're the only people in the world with these crazy opinions. This realization came to us over a glass of wine because that's where all of our bright ideas originate. Side note: We live in a little beach town on the central coast near a ton of wineries. We will call it "little napa". Demanda said we need a blog since we bounce ideas and topics off each other hourly, yet we have no outlet to express our worldly views. Most of our conversations revolve around The Twilight Saga, reality TV shows, our cat, and the craziness that happens in our lives on a daily basis. We had a ton of blog names but we won't get into those since some of them were awful and some were just inside jokes that would take hours to explain and frankly, you would probably think we were insane. A few days later over a glass of wine (do you see a pattern here??) Demanda had another amazing idea because she's the "thinker" of our duo. Mid-conversation, she just randomly yelled out "BORDERLINE PHENOMENAL!" At first, Jaymes was wondering "Is Demanda complimenting me??" but then realized she was throwing out a possible blog name. Once that was finally understood, BAM! Our bloggy wog was born just like that. Granted, it's taken us a day (or twelve) since we came up with the name to actually get our first post up but now that it's done hopefully it will be smooth(ish) sailing from this point on.  Both of us have strong opinions on everything and plan on posting those snotty awesome opinions here. You're welcome.