Tuesday, December 21, 2010

A Happy Birthday Song To Jackson



Today is where we don't explain anything, we just sing Happy Birthday to this man.

Dear Jackson-


Happy Birthday to you!


Happy Birthday to you!


Happy Birthday Dear Jackson...


Happy Birthday to yooooou!


Happy 26th Jackson Rathbone! 

Love,

Borderline Phenomenal

PS- Here's some eye candy for our readers.




Monday, December 20, 2010

If You Didn't Know, Now You Do.

Happy Monday everyone! I know, there's no such thing.. but hopefully our blog will make your day a little brighter because here at Borderline Phenomenal, we aim to please.* In order to do that, we thought we'd give you a little glimpse into us. So maybe you'll feel a little better about yourselves and be thankful you're not that strange.


The other night Demanda and I were at home in our own rooms on twitter/facebook/watching Eclipse minding our own business when I decided to go into her room and ask her a question. I hobbled up our skinny staircase slowly as I have tumbled down those bitches many times and went into ask her a question. What I asked wasn't important but as we finished our convo, we both stopped talking as we came to the exact same realization.



All. The. Time.


I'm not talking gibberish as in "OMFG I'll totes BRB because PMSL." (if you don't know what that means, join twitter.. or get the internet.)

I'm talking gibberish as in our own language. To us, it makes complete sense. To everyone else, we probably sound like this guy.




Yeah I know. We're crazy...or are we?

When we were in high school Amanda's nephew was a little guy who had the cutest speech problem. His last name is Barrington and he would pronounce it "Booington." He once told his mom that he loved "Black Booty" when he meant to say Black Beauty. This kid was our vocabulary idol. The best part about it was that he thought he was speaking correctly. So when we would say words like he did, he would look at us like we were insane. Because we talked to him in his language so much, we haven't been able to stop.. we do it ALL the time. I don't even think we've ever had a convo without using one of these words or phrases..sometimes they even slip out at work.

So here's a little vocab lesson for ya'll. Just in case you ever are around us and we are speaking like in our language, you'll get it. It will be kind of like when people speak spanish. We can understand a few words here and there but mostly we just notice that spanish speaking people use the word "tambien" A LOT!

Booington Vocab Lesson:

A "dat". 




A "baby ditton".



"Sputney Buzz".


"Not tautin".


"Rying a weer" (this image is for you LuvsMeSumEdward!)



A "puntin".


"I'm a dood tid!"



"Budidadoin?"


There are a ton more but I think that it would take far too long to explain all the words/phrases and frankly we don't have that much time. Who am I kidding, we do have that much time but you probably don't wanna read it all. If you ever hear us talking like this, don't worry..we didn't fall and hit our heads and we're probably also not too drunk. It's just second nature to us now because we've been using this vocab for so long. We barely realize that we're doing it until people look at us like we're freaks. Then we just pretend...I don't know what we pretend actually, because there's no way to recover from it.



We know, we know.


*if you know what thise phrase is from, you win 100 Borderline Phenomenal Points**

** These points are just 'feel good' points. You don't win a prize or anything, just our love. Which is a prize in itself.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Hump Day Special- Guess Who We Want To Hump?!

Happy Hump Day h00rs!!! As  most of you know, one of our all time FAVORITE movies (and books) came out on DVD this past weekend.


WOO HOOOOOO!

We were crapping ourselves excited and to celebrate that, we are going to give you a special hump day treat.  A poem about someone we want to hump the most in this world.

Humping Rob
By Demanda & Jaymes

We are Borderline Phenomenal
We want to hump Rob.

We would hump Rob here and there.
We would hump him anywhere.

We would hump Rob nice and slow.
We would hump Rob in a bow.

Aw. A present for us?!?


We would hump Rob saying "sccchhwwwing!".
We would hump Rob wearing bling.

Gangsta.

We would hump Rob on a mat.
We would hump Rob in a hat.
Fancy!

We would hump Rob under stars.
We would hump Rob at the bars.

Yummy!

We would hump Rob dodging bullets.
We would hump Rob in a mullet.

get'er done!

We would hump Rob in a speedo.
We would hump Rob incognito.

Bet you're wishin we had a speedo pic. Toooo bad!

We would hump Rob in a car.
We would hump Rob as a rockstar.


Rock out with your...you know the rest.

We would hump Rob acting weird.
We would hump Rob in a beard.


Beanie Rob just for you Charla!!! :)

We would hump Rob night or day.
We would hump Rob all the way.



Hope your hump day is phenomenal!
- Jaymes and Demanda

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Celebrating NaBloPoMo With Some Holiday Cheer!

Wow....so November 30th! You know what that means? It means we just succeeded in completing NaBloPoMo! 30 posts in 30 days woo hooooo!

True story but it's still a little like a fuzzy hug.


Sadly, I didn't complete NaNoWriMo because of computer problems, health issues, and a lot more excuses that I don't care to explain but that you probably know about if you've been following our blog for the last month. But congrats to all of our peeps who did finish!!! We're so proud of you! I'd list all of you here but I'm afraid I'd leave someone out so I'm just gonna say "Yay you!!!" because you know who you are.

So I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little drunk right now. Demanda and I went for celebratory drinks after work (at least that's what I'm calling them...any excuse to head to the wine bar, right??) and ended up having more than three one. Then some random people bought us dinner... not quite sure who they were but if they happen to stumble across this blog, THANK YOU!!! It was amazing.

Because December is now on the horizon, we can really get into the Christmas spirit (ya know, after I rest for a few days because frankly, this blogging for 30 days straight is f'ing exhausting!). And what better way to get into the Christmas spirit than some awesome awkward Christmas photos?! I know, I'm excited too, trust me.

These pictures aren't just awkward...they're pure awesome. I know when you look at them your first thoughts are going to be "Megan's Law" and "Dudes, where's your van?" but really.... these guys rock. We're proud to admit that we've known them most of our lives. I went to kindergarten with one, met the other two in second grade and we have known and loved them ever since. They all grew out 'staches for No Shave November or "Movember" which Miss Tejota blogged about a while back. And because they just have phenomenal christmas spirit, they decided to get these photos taken for all to enjoy. I hear through the grapevine (AKA text message) that they are getting a calendar printed out and making a youtube vid. So we'll definitely keep you updated!

So without further ado, I present to you... our hometown boys!

Ladies and Gents, one of these men may teach your child someday.
And the other two will probably serve them alcohol.

"Leotards make everything look better" - DM (the man in the middle)


Christmas morning never looked so creepy awesome. 


Don't even want to know what you guys are pointing at... or do I??



Santa writes porn too... you can tell by the facial expressions! 


Ace and Gary three way..holiday style! 


HAPPY HOLIDAYS! 

I have to admit when I saw these, I cried laughing. They are hands down the most phenomenal holiday pictures I've ever seen and I'm not just saying that because I know these guys. Hell, they don't even know about our blog so I could probably say whatever I want about them but the truth is, they are pure hilariousness (is that even a word? It is now!).  For the record, they're very good looking guys normally and not creepy at all.


See? Handsome! 

I hope you all enjoyed our last post of NaBloPoMo and that this last month hasn't bored you to tears. We're going to take a few days off possibly but we'll then be back less stressed and as borderline phenomenal as ever! :)

Happy Holidays

-Jaymes

Monday, November 29, 2010

Dream on

Last night I was super stoked to be sleeping all cozy and warm in my own bed for the first time since last Tuesday. I know that probably makes me sound like a huge h00r but in actuality if you've read previous blog posts, you'd know that I wasn't bed hopping with a ton of men but was at my parents for the best holiday in the universe.

According to Google, this is the best holiday in the universe.
 Didn't know Fish & Chips was a holiday

As I got snuggled down in my bed, I realized I wasn't comfy nor was I warm. I struggled to sleep all night long but kept getting woken up by 3 things: bad dreams, the fact that I had to pee every 5 minutes and these bitches...

They're the devil...if the devil was furry and cute. We will blog about them at a later date. 


I'm completely used to having bad dreams because when I watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I had nightmares for over a year. Also, I've suffered from something called Hypnagogic Hallucinations for about 9 years now and they're f'ing terrifying. If you don't know what they are, google it. 


Like this only less funny and without the prozac


I've learned to deal with it throughout the years even though it still scares the shit out of me when I wake up seeing crap that isn't there. Frankly, I'm surprised I'm not a bed wetter. I just blink a few times, turn on the light and everything is back to normal. Aside from that, watching scary movies or talking about scary movies gives me nightmares as well so I have to stear clear of them. 


Anyway, last night I was watching some cheesy Christmas movie on Lifetime and there was a commercial for an original Lifetime movie about The Craigslist Killer. Seriously, I know you're going to think I'm a pussy but I had a nightmare about it last night. I don't remember  most of the dream but I do remember that he looked nothing like the actual Craigslist Killer. I didn't really figure out who he looked like until I was talking to LivingWEdward over on twitter today and she hit it dead on (no pun intended). 




Actual bad guy.




Dream bad guy..but with slicked back hair and a 'stache.


So LWE and I were talking about my dream which then it turned into David Hasselhoff being a killer in Forks and it got me thinking. (weird, I know. Shut up.) All the killers in Twilight are pretty hot. None of them look like the Hoff in a 'stache. Why couldn't THEY have been the bad guy in my dream??




You may have a greasy pony and look like you smell farts a lot but invade my dreams, PLEASE! 




Quick, change your ugly ass outfit and hop on over to my sleepy time! 




Too much botox but I'd still take you over the Hoff.



Hey Victoria, visit my dream so I can shave your head and make myself a wig!
(It's my dream, I'll do what I want)


I don't know what tonight holds in the dream/nightmare department but hopefully it's something a little better than last night. It would be nice if it held a certain other Twilight vampire...and even though I've already had that dream, one can only dream again. And that's what I'll do! 


Good night and sweet dreams,


-Jaymes 

Sunday, November 28, 2010

It's Short (that's what she said)

Today I drove back from my parents house which is where I spent Thanksgiving.


They live near here.





We live here. 

You'd think driving from the mountains to the sea (why do I feel like I'm singing a song) would be a pretty drive...and it was, for about 20 minutes. I guess when you're used to seeing something so much, you take it for granted. But for reals, most of the drive looked somewhat like Texas Chainsaw Massacreville except there were lots of semi trucks and no one was trying to kill me. That I know of.

Needless to say, the day wasn't action packed. I drove, came home, unpacked and now I'm exhausted. Tomorrow is another day back to the grind and hopefully I'll have something more exciting to blog about other than "this is what I did today, now I'm too lazy tired to write anything of value." As for tonight, I'm going to climb into my bed, read and passss out!

-Jaymes

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Books and Food

Wow...I really can't believe we've blogged 27 days in a row. It feels like just yesterday we were thinking "what the hell are we going to blog about every single day for 30 days?!?!" but we came up with stuff. Granted it wasn't all great...or even good. But it worked! And now only three more days and I can take a break (but only for a day or so because I know you'd all miss us terribly if we left you for longer than that).

Tonight I have nothing interesting to say. I'm cooking two of my favorite foods right now (yes, they are Thanksgiving food...I'm still not sick of it!) so I'm having to make this quick and also I'm in the middle of reading the second book in The Hunger Games trilogy. If you haven't read them, punch yourself immediately and go pick up these books ASAP!!



They are phenomenal to the max. I didn't think they would be my cup of coffee (I know the saying is tea but I'm not a fan) but I can't put them down. If you haven't heard of them, you can read a lil review here over at Twitarded by Jenny Jerkface. But be careful reading the comments, there may be a few spoilers.

I'd write more but my food timer is beeping loudly at me and I don't want to ruin Thanksgiving #3. Hope you're having a lovely weekend. And if you're not, just remember... a week from today, you can watch this!


YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!
-Jaymes

Friday, November 26, 2010

Hell No to Black Friday

I seriously had no idea why this was called black Friday. I was thinking it was because people are still blacked out from their alcohol consumption on Thanksgiving. Or that they were blacked out in a food coma. Or perhaps it's because it's still dark outside when people go on their crazy shopping sprees at 3am. Apparently it's none of these. "Black Friday" indicates a period during which retailers are turning a profit or "in the black."  There's a nice little fun fact for this post-turkey day while everyone lays around regretting everything they ate in the last 24 hours.

I know I already posted this picture but it's THAT good. 

I don't know about you, but the day after Thanksgiving is meant for lounging around the house in PJ's for as long as possible while snacking on leftovers and not doing a damn thing except spending some time reading and self loathing while promising yourself you'll go to the gym as soon as this week is over. At least that's how I spent my day. No WAY am I going outside in the 30 degree weather to battle some pyscho shopper for a blu-ray player that is 50% off.  Plus where our parents live you have to drive at least 40 minutes to get to any good stores. They live somewhere resembling this place, minus the stop light.

I seriously miss this place...and I know you all do too! 

So if any of you are insane enough to have woken up way prior to the buttcrack of dawn to shop, when you should have been waking up to go pee instead of go spend money, I solute you. I think you're a freak... but nonetheless, I hope you make it out alive and unharmed with a bag of goodies. Hopefully there's something in there for me... but if not, there's always next year.

Now I'm off to mentally prepare myself for my second Thanksgiving dinner at a family friend's house...and then my third Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow night at my mom's. Hopefully I'm still able to blog after all of this but I might not be able to, due to the fact that my fingers will become the size of turkey legs. Hope everyone is having a fabulous holiday week.

-Jaymes