Sunday, July 17, 2011

I Was Told There'd Be No Hills

This may come as a shock to some of you, but I hate exercise. I'm just not the type to exert myself physically unless it comes in the form of dancing while drinking. Growing up, I was in dance from the age of 4 to 10 and then did cheer/dance (we didn't have a separate cheer and dance team, we did both) from age 11 to 17. I love any and everything having to do with dance but any exercise besides that is not my bag.

I do like to exercise my arms.
This is not me btw.

Every once in a while, I get the urge to try and make myself an outdoor/exercise person. I really wish I was into trying new things that I've never done before but I'd rather sit on my ass, watch TV and get skinny by the magic of "think thin" instead of working for it. I know this is a stupid way to think and nothing good ever comes without working hard but I grew up never gaining weight. I'm guessing the 2.5 hrs of dance per day had a little something to do with this. 

Anyway, I told Demanda on Friday that I wanted to do a hike on Saturday. Most of the time, this is just me talking out my ass and then Saturday rolls around, I'm still in jammies at noon and have no plans or desire to do anything else. 

Me, except prettier

Saturday rolled around and Demanda called me around 12:30pm (yes, we live together but she was out being productive while I was rolling out of bed.) and asked if I wanted to go on a hike. I kinda did the whole " where?" thing to which she replied that it was on a hike on this trail that she's never been on but it would be fast and easy (like her) and if I didn't want to go, I didn't have to. I said no that I'd think about it and she was on her way home so we hung up. 

She got home and I was just finishing breakfast, still in my jammies while she sat there trying to convince me to go. I don't remember her reasons but since we were going with our friend Daisydarkside and we hadn't seen her in a while, I figured I should probably just sack up, put my big girl panties on and go. But I still wasn't convinced. I have exercise induced asthma and didn't want to slow them down. But then Demanda told me the thing that convinced me to go, which also happened to be the reason I will never trust anything she says again.

What she said:  "Don't worry, it's easy. There aren't any hills." 


What she meant: "We're climbing Mount Everest."


About 5 minutes in, I couldn't breathe because silly me, I didn't think there were any hills so I didn't bother to use my inhaler. That's the last time I make that mistake. It was a gorgeous hike up into the mountains of our nice lil city. We walked over bridges, through the woods, through rocky terrain, etc. and I didn't die. That's saying a lot. I probably only complained about 10-15 times and it wasn't even real complains. Just mostly "I wish I had brought tissue/my inhaler/alcohol." I was bummed about one thing though. The sign promised that we would see wildlife, but the only thing we saw were lizards. No mountain lions, bobcats, or vampires (although this one couple started out at the same time on a different trail but we met them coming down WAY quicker than they should have. They were impossibly fast.)

All in all, I'm super glad I went. Sure I can't feel my legs today and I'm walking as if I turned 85 overnight but it was nice to be at the top of that mountain and know that I accomplished more than watching the entire season of a TV show in a Saturday afternoon. Thanks, Demanda for lying to me convincing me to go. Although, I do need to remember this lesson always....


Snarkier Than You said...

JJ's s/o almost killed her on a hike that he said "wouldn't be too challenging"... sounds like Demanda has been talking to ML - lol...

MrsKassieCullen said...

Ahhh yes I too practice the "think thin" exercise plan. No one would ever convince me to take a hike, no matter how easy it's supposed to be me+nature= extreme bitching and complaining followed by bouts of screaming at real and imaginary bugs.

But at least now you can say you made it up Everest :)

Rikki_DD said...

Hey if I had the choice of going for a hike and watching Tyler, Damon and Elijah...I'm with the vampires. I'm kind of jealous that I wasn't on this hike and also glad. Every lizard I saw, I would have chased wanting to keep it as a pet.

Lindsay Rae said...

I almost killed my future father in law when he asked to join me on my morning walk with the dog. I usually go up into the hills by my house, but I forget that it's a 3mi uphill, 2mi downhill walk. We only got a mile and half before we had to turn around and go home.

My bad.

I love going for hikes! Obvs Jaymes doesn't wanna go into The Hoh with me (TWSS)...Demanda, you in? Let's get our hike on! FOORKKSS, BABY!

TwiKiwi50 said...

So, when Demanda said that we'd have alcohol in Napa, was she lying about that too? I kid, I kid.

Good for you getting out and about. Shame about the nearly-dying. We could possibly bitch and moan and wheeze our asthmatic lungs together doing some kind of outdoor physical exertion.... or, we could stay still and get drunk. Dibs!

Demanda said...

Oh Jamie, you poor thing! MUUHAHAHAH
In my defense, I honestly thought it was going to be short and easy (like me). I would like to point out that YOU took ME on an "easy" hike yesterday and that was a beast. So we're even, right?

@STY - Yes, ML and I are thisclose. ;)

@Rikki_DD @ I was trying to catch them too. Yesterday we saw tons of bunnies and I wanted them ALL!

@Lindsay Rae - I'M IN!! :)

@TwiKiwi50 - I am totes lying about there being alcohol in Napa. I'm so sowwy. :(

jennykate77 said...

Damn it. Why doesn't that "think thin" shiz work?? If it did, I would be like Kate Moss skinny. For realz, yo. I THINK about exercising and eating healthy ALL the time, but I only do it about 15% of the time. I decided today that I need to go on a #Foooorks diet. Using my trip to The Promised Land as incentive to get my fat azz moving. We'll see.

Glad you survived your hike!

TwiWeasel said...

Holy crap...this entire post could have come from me! I mean, I don't really enjoy exercising...and thinking thin isn't really working for me either. Bummer. The part of me that gets the most exercise are my fingers from all the typing I do...and my mouth from all the swearing I do. *smirk* We've been talking about getting a swear jar at work, and I asked if we could just put it on my desk so I wouldn't have to get up. Yup...lazy with a potty mouth...I'm a true diamond in the rough.

AllTwiedUp said...

LOL sounds like a bff who really knows how to motivate you...with lies. ;) J/K Demanda....