Sometimes I Fail At Things

Hello lovers!!! Long time no see, eh? I'd like to say things have been too busy around here to blog but we're just drunk lazy procrastinators.

or the next day....or the next.

Speaking of procrastination, today on twitter a lot of people have been tweeting #ficmemories- The greatest moments of fan fic stories. What does this have to do with procrastination? Well, I'm getting there...eventually. You see, dear friends, I love to read. Growing up, I would often read 1-2 books a day (I had friends, I swear!). To this day, I still love to read but between work, social life and all the tv shows I watch, reading books takes a back seat. And reading fan fic takes one as well. But as I was reading these tweets, I realized that I hadn't read about 90% of the stories. Had I heard of them? Yes. Do I owned them or have a link to where they are located? Probably. Had I read them? Nooope! But hear me out.....

Reasons I suck at reading fic

1. My phone battery dies practically twice a day.
2. When I sit in front of my computer to read, I get distracted.
3. I have the attention span of a ..... oh something shiny!!!!
4. That's all.



I plan on having an E-reader before 2012 to make all of these excuses null. But here's where I need your help. I want to know everyone's top 5 fics. That way I know which ones I should read ASAP and which can sit on the shelf for a bit. To make it a little easier, I've created a teeny list of the fics I've already read. But most were so good that I would love to read again.

Fics I've read

I almost fail this bad at reading. Minus the fake rack.



1. Osa Bella
2. MotU I
3. MotU II
4. The Best Man
5. The Blessing and the Curse
6. EP
7. Maybe (currently STILL reading)


So please leave a comment with your top 5 fics..or 3....or 1. I'll put a list together and decide which to read first. Ready..... go!



Hope everyone has a fantastical weekend!



Hump Day Special: Robsten Edition

There's a reason they call us Borderline.... or actually a reason we call ourselves Borderline. We do everything half assed. EVERY. THING. Like for instance, we haven't done any of our FOOOORKS posts yet. We haven't blogged about Twilight Tuesdays. I haven't done my Thanksgiving Wish List. And so on. But we'll get to it... one of these years.


Anyway it's Wednesday (or Winesday as some might call it) and we used to do this little thing on hump day about people we'd like to hump before we started failing at life, I thought we should start it up again with some recent photos that have been circulating. And no, I don't mean of this chick:

Bieber Baby Mama Drama.

A lot of you know we love Twilight. It's hardly something we keep on the down low anymore, we are full blown Twitards. But some of you may not know that we are also Team Robsten. Not just for their hotness (which is obvious to anyone who has eyes) but also for their on and off screen chemistry. We aren't Team Robsten in a "I will kick a baby possum if they aren't together!!!" but more like we love them together and separate but mostly together. As long as they're happy, right? So today we'd like to hump Robsten! In honor of that, let's take a look at some different sides of Robsten...and no, I don't mean "that side" (although we'd like to look, don't get me wrong!) Here weeeee go!

Premiere Robsten

Twilight 

New Moon 

Eclipse 

Breaking Dawn 

Photoshoot Robsten

I can't decide who's hotter.

THIS is what the meadow scene should have been like.
I so want this picture framed on my wall.

I think this was the pic that made me finally realize how gorgeous KStew is.

PDA Robsten

I'd keep holding on too if I was walking with someone that hot.

Move your hand over juuuust a little bit.

Nice hand placement, Rob! Wait..... where's Kristen's hand?? 

Oh, there it is! Again, move it over juuust a bit.

Is that...hand holding?
Thank you LuvsMeSumEdward for finding this amazingness.

Let's look at that move in motion, shall we?

So cute. Even Taylor is happy about it!

There are many more Robsten moments we could talk about but it's getting late and I need to save my energy for BREAKING DAWN TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!


Who's going? Who's already seen it? Who loves Robsten? Tell us.

Thank you to my lovelies who provided me with some of these gorgeous pictures. If you took the pics and need me to credit you let us know, we'll be happy to!

Say it. Outloud. Say it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEMANDA!

Dear Demanda, 

I know today is a very special day. It's Tuesday! the night 90210 is on!  the premiere of Jackson's new webseries! YOUR 30TH BIRTHDAY!!!! 

That's how happy I am! 

I know we've been friends for a long time. 'How long is a long time'? A while. Before we met you were a teeny tiny Manda baby.

I always wondered why our cat tries to grab our hands while we're holding spoons.
Now I know where she gets it! 

Although a lot has changed, some things have not. Like you still fall asleep after drinking a bottle, probably go to the bathroom the same amount, and drool sometimes. When we met, were were awesome Jr. High kids. How awesome? THIS AWESOME!

Jr High Manda

 I'd post a picture of myself from Jr. High but sadly there aren't any online... that I know of. Thankfully. I'm sure that will change when my 30th Birthday hits. Anyway, you were pretty much the exact same person when we were 12 that you are now. Fun, energetic, 5'3", etc. Now you're a little more mature and a whole lot better dressed. But still the same amazing friend.  I can't believe we celebrated our 13th Birthdays together and now we're celebrating 30. Yikes! Throughout our friendship, we've only been in 3 fights. One about Doritos, one about Barnes and Noble and one about car keys. All equally important. We've been through laughable roadtrips, even more laughable guy stories, moments that make us think that if we told anyone about it, they would NEVER believe us, laughter, love, heartbreak, silliness, moves all around Cali, and much much more. THAT is true friendship. I seriously couldn't ask for a better heterosexual life partner to have spend the last 18 years with. Holy shit, if our friendship was a person it would be a legal adult!

Thank you for being amazing. I hope your Birthday is all that you hoped for and more. And I hope that your 30's are even more of a spectacular adventure than your 20's were... although we both know that is VERY hard to beat.  I love you and am so unbelievably grateful to have you in my life. Now go rock your dirty thirties!!!

Love,

Jaymes

PS- A few other people wanted to wish you a Happy 30th Birthday too.

From Rikki:

"For your Birthday, I will loan you Bolton. And your present is on the way!" (that's saying a lot!!!! She must really love you.)



From Chloe Cougar:

Happy Birthday Hunni! Hope you have the most fantabulous day and that (almost all) your wishes come true. By that, I mean that you wouldn't want ALL of them to come true, all at the same time, cuz then you'd have nothing to look forward to. So yeah, have a good one, and tell us ALL about it when you've survived the hangover!

CC x

From Miss Tejota:

Lovely Demanda,

I wish you a wonderful and fantastic 30th birthday. I hope that your special day is filled with love, laughter, and many blessings. I want this year is an amazing one for you. 

Love, 

Miss TeJota






From DangrDafne: 

Happy 30th Birthday Amanda!! I am so glad I was able to see you twice this year and I had soooo much fun in Napa with you (Chandon specifically, of course, LOL).

I hope you have a phenomenal day and you get to celebrate you and all your awesomeness.

I love you and I hope all your birthday wishes come true.

A toast to you!!

Love, Sharon/dangrdafne

From JennyKate:

From Kassie: 

From 17ForeverLisa:

From MyAfterCar: 

From MusingBella:

From Twikiwi50: 

Happy Birthday Miss Demanda! I hope your 30th is fun-filled and that the next decade is as good as the last. 30 was scary for me... until I got there. Then it was easy peasy... and from here, the numbers mean nothing! I know you said you didn't want this photo to ever see the light of day, but let's face it, it's too good to pass up. It was awesome meeting you in August and I can't wait to see you again in Hawaii, fingers and toes crossed. Until then, big squeezy cuddles, bewb nuzzles and arse gropes. Have a champagne cocktail for me sweetie. 

xxxx
Future Girl

From Twi_Lin: 

From kiTT: 

From Double_Dippin:

From StarlitViolets:









Note from Jaymes: A nice lil vid of Twi-packages. Sad that I can spot the Rathbulges. 





*You'll blush...and pause at 3:31 in. 



From MandysMind:

From RottyMama:

Happy 30th Birthday Amanda! It was great meeting you and Jamie at Forks! Enjoy your day and watch out for Edwardo, I heard he has mexican jumping beans!

Christine~Rottymama



From TwiredJen:

From AllTwiedUp:

From Smitten:



From NorCalTwitard:

From Edward and Bella:

From Vampire Mike Newton:

From Our Favorite 'Bampire':





 There you have it. The votes are in. People love you!  Hope you have a phenomenal Birthday. Don't let there be ANYTHING borderline about it. See you for drinks tonight and you better have these on since they were in your Mustache Party Pack that I bought you.

I know this isn't you... but I don't have a picture of you wearing them yet.

                 Love you bunches...



..because, how could I not??



It's a Special Day... Or It Was A Month And A Week Ago.

What up beezies?!?!?!?! 

Our second Vlog! 

We know we didn't mention everyone but slow yo roll....we will eventually.

We loooooooooove all of you! 

Now it's time to get fancy! 

Borderline Phenomenal Tuesday Tell-All Vlog Numbero Uno

Our first vlog. Like when babies have their first Christmas but with less poop and presents.

Watch as we introduce our awesome selves, talk about Edwardo, a great cause, Breaking Dawn and FOOOOORKS!





What'd you think? Tell us in the comments. And if it's mean, please lie.

Lie better.

Just for the FORK(S) of it

T MINUS 19 DAAAAAYS!!!!!! 

I think.

I can't count.

We had been awake since 12:00 a.m. Yes that's right. A.M.
 Left for the airport at 1:00 a.m.
Flew out at 6:00 a.m.
Landed in Seattle at 8:00 a.m.
Drove to FORKS.
Got stoked!

If you're coming with us on this epic adventure, go here and tell us about yourself! We wanna know you. And not in a creepy way...at least not yet. 

Normal Convo Ya'll

It happened one January evening. I was feeling a little weird...and this is how it went down.

Jaymes: "Dude, you know how you get that weird Deja vu feeling where you get all dizzy?"

Demanda: "Yeah…"

Jaymes: "I’ve had that for like 20 minutes. Seriously, what the hell is going on?"

Demanda: "Um… What’s wrong with you? Are you gonna die? Im gonna take a shower but I’ll take my phone in there just in case. So if you die, call me."

Jaymes: "I don’t think I’m gonna die but what if I disappear like that guy from The Time Traveler’s Wife*? If I’m not here when you’re out of the shower, that’s what happened. So I won’t be able to call you because my phone will still be here."

Demanda: "Are we seriously having this conversation?"

Jaymes: "Yes."

Demanda: "Ok, just checking."




....aaaaand then I was sick for a month.


-Jaymes

*The Time Traveler's Wife is one of my favorite books of all time. If you've never read it, please do it. For me.

Vampires: You're Doing it Wrong

Dear Twilight Makeup/Hair/Wardrobe Team-

I know you don't know me but I think you may benefit from some suggestions in this post. Just to give you a little background on me, it just so happens that I'm TERRIFIED of vampires.

F. THAT.

 I almost didn't read Twilight. What a shame that would have been, huh? But really, my friends had to actively force me to watch Interview with a Vampire and Bram Stoker's Dracula in high school and I had nightmares for days. I can't watch anything even close to scary or it's bye bye sleep for me. So imagine my excitement when I was over at my co-worker's house back in 2006 and she had this sitting on her coffee table.

Wow, it's been 5 years since I picked this thing up?! 

I picked it up and read the back cover, then immediately put it back down. Vampires? No way. But she has amazing taste in books and told me I HAD to read it. Even after I told her that vampires make me pee my pants, she told me they were good vampires and to read the first chapter. If I didn't like it, I didn't have to read it. One chapter later and I was asking if I could borrow the book. One day later and I was asking if I could borrow New Moon. She was still reading it but I borrowed it afterwards and then had to wait for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn to come out (which was a LONG time).

Anyway, I'm getting off topic. When I found out Twilight was being made into a movie and I saw the cast, I wasn't impressed. Maybe it was bad photos that were released or something.

Seriously, can you blame me? Gross.
And why are his fingernails dirty?!?

I've since realized I have never seen such a beautiful group of people in 1 (or 5) movies. I mean come on...

Yeah, you people are ridiculous. 

Although this cast is unnaturally hot in real life, you somehow manage to make them look less than awesome. Let's take a looksies, shall we?

Real life Rob. Delish.

Not horrible but I prefer the live version.

Ashley Greene = gorgeous

It's like Ashley Greene's ugly twin took her finger out of the light socket long enough to take a photo.

Nikki Reed radiates beauty. 

Stephenie Meyer said Rosalie Hale was the most gorgeous girl in the world or something.
She lied. 

Jackson Rathbone is well... you know. Yum.

Someone call PETA. A poodle has been killed and used as a wig! 

That's just a few examples. I could have kept going with many many more photos but I don't want to torment you that much. Nor do I have that kind of time on my hands. Call me crazy but the Twi cast would have been much better off if they had been left alone with just some added pale makeup and contacts. 

I do have another suggestion that may benefit you if you ever choose to work on another vampire movie in the future. Head on over to the set of another vamp series that I've been recently obsessing over watching and maybe intern there for a day or two so you can see how it's SUPPOSED to be done. Because it seems to me (and probably the rest of the viewers) that the crew on the set of The Vampire Diaries really knows what they're doing when it comes to making the cast look hot as hell. I've provided you with some examples below.

That Paul Wesley sure knows what he's doing when it comes to looking hot.

...as does Stefan Salvatore. They almost look like the same person.

Ian Somerhalder, congratulations on your face. 

It's just as hot as Damon Salvatore's. Also, nice body.

Beautiful Nina Dobrev

If Katherine didn't annoy me so much, I'd have a major girl crush.

Daniel Gillies makes my girly parts tingle
BTW if you don't follow him on twitter, you should. He's hilarious!

As does the equally hot and badass 'Elijah'. 

I would again post more examples but I don't have all night. Plus I don't wanna spoiler alert people who aren't all caught up or haven't watched (shame on you!) to which characters are vampires and which one's aren't.  (spoiler alert: everyone is) 

So you see, dear Twilight crew, there IS a way to make vampires hot without caking on the unnatural looking chalk makeup, adding some Kmart wigs, and putting in alien-like contacts. Maybe in a few decades when they decided to remake Twilight (I shudder at the thought of a cheesy remake) the people on that crew will stumble upon this post and take my words of wisdom to heart. But until then, just know this: 

-Jaymes