A Sad Day in Twitardia

I know you were all expecting a 100 Monkeys blog post but that will be up tomorrow. There's something else that needs to be said today instead.

Today I woke up with some sad news from Demanda. One of our own, the beloved Uber_Vamp has passed away.

Uber_Vamp's lovely avi

We weren't close with UV but chatted on twitter/tumblr/blogs a bit and she was such a sweetheart. It's amazing to see all the lives she touched with her kind words and postings. She will be missed dearly. Our thoughts and prayers go out to her friends and family during this difficult time.

As today proves, life is very short and you never know what might happen. We would just like all of you to know how much brighter our lives are by having you as a part of our Borderline Phenomenal existances. The friendships and bonds that have grown over the last year have meant so more to us than words can say and from the bottom of our hearts, we truley love and appreciate each and every one of you more than you'll ever know.  Thank you for being such wonderful friends to both me and Demanda. We are such lucky h00rs to be a part of this amazing, hilarious, and dirty minded community.

To Demanda-  I know this goes without saying but I want/need to say it anyway and today seems like a good day to do it. You are without a doubt the most awesome best friend/platonic heterosexual life partner that anyone could ever ask for. The last 17 years have been beyond phenomenal. I know we've been through some crazy, hilarious, weird and sad times but I wouldn't trade a single one for anything. Ok maybe the CVS bathroom incident but that's obvious (ya'll will know what we're talking about in the next post but trust me, you will regret it) Thank you for being the greatest sister from another mister that anyone could ever ask for. I love you bunches and don't ever forget it.

Once again thank you all for being so stellar. You rock our socks big time. And to our lovely Uber_Vamp, rest in peace doll... we hope you're somewhere where there are sweet angels that look like Rob. You will be missed so very much.

Just the Tip

We're back from our EPIC 100 Monkeys/LA weekend. As amazingly amazing as this weekend was, it was insanely busy and I am exausted. I imagine the boys were all exhausted too since they spent the entire weekend running thru my mind. (yep, I just said that!).

I would say it's going to be an easy, quick blog post of  "this is what happened, here are some pictures" but it's not. We need to really show you what a Borderline Phenomenal road trip looks like and that includes a LOT of hilarious, crazy and gross stories. So until I get some sleep, food, and come up with words to describe this awesomeness, we're going to play one of my favorite games; Just the Tip.






Note to Self: Don't Pee on 100 Monkeys

As most of you know, we are heading to La La land this weekend to see someone very important. And if you don't know, then we will tell you.




We're going to rock out with our she-cocks out to these guys. If you don't know who they are, jump off a bridge**.

 Everyone know's how I have a wet soft spot for this amazing band. So imagine how you would feel if, for example, you were in a room watching Rob Pattinson sing (since I know most of our followers want to touch his peen). Imagine it...........

That's what I thought.



The sound of exploding.


Now you get it! Demanda knows how much I adore 100 Monkeys. So naturally, she had some concerns which she expressed today on our way to lunch and on twitter.



The answer is maybe.


She also asked if I am going to be crying/flailing around from my excitement. I might be flailing around but that's just because I'll be buzzed drunk and I love their music. No way will I be anything like this.

PLEASE tell me you know about the Sanjaya fan girl on American Idol. If not, please youtube it.

So all of this got me thinking. What WILL it be like? I've never seen anyone I'm truely a fan of up close. And I hate to break this to all of you who think I'm super calm, cool, and collected. I'm not. I say/do dumb shit when I get nervous or excited. And I don't mean like stuff to disrespect people. Mostly I just embarrass myself like yelling out "I'M NOT WEARING UNDERPANTS!" So I've compiled a list to help me out.

Jaymes' list of what NOT to do when seeing 100 Monkeys.

1. Don't pee.
You'd think this would be a simple thing but my bladder is probably worse than a 98 year old. Or a 4 month old. You choose. When I drink, I have to pee every 10-15 minutes, no joke. My friends get annoyed but it's either stop to use the bathroom or pee on them and I don't think they want any R. Kelly action going on. So if my bladder gets mad during the show, I must hold it. If I get a bladder infection, it will be so worth it. Hopefully if I wet my pants, I'm not anywhere near the guys because that's just embarrassing.

2. Don't run towards Jackson with arms outstretched yelling "JAAAASPER!!!!"
Fans who only know the band because "Jasper" is in it are the worst. He is NOT Jasper (thank God. I couldn't deal with staring at that hair while his band plays a set.) Or mabe he'd do this, who knows:

Although not sure Kellan and Peter will be there to stop him. Also, I hope his hair looks better than this.

I don't think that would be a problem though since when I think of him, my mind automatically goes to his band, not his movies (even though we all know how much I LOVE his movies). They are two completely separate things. Both awesome. But way different.


3. Don't drink so much that you dance crazy-like and fall
I fall sometimes. My legs are long. Sue me.

4. Don't dress like this

I doubt they're in to furries.

In all seriousness, I'm sure I'll be fine. It's just the anticipation that's exciting. I'll be cool as a cuccumber. I'm going to be hanging with Demanda, Twired Jen, Elusive_S, Luvsmesumedward and some other peeps so it's going to be an amazing time. I may even manage to get one or a thousand pictures for all of you that aren't attending. Next week there should be a phenomenal blog post about the concert so keep your eyes open for that. And in the mean time, I'll let you live vicariously through us.



Demanda, where's that bib?!?


** For the record, please don't jump off a bridge. Unless it's a tiny bridge with a 2 foot drop. Or a small bridge into a pool because that would be fun.

Apparently Candy and I Both Have A Crappy Exterior

All morning long I had been forgetting that it was Valentine's Day. If it wasn't for the fact that one of my close friends and my step dad both have Birthday's today, the holiday would be completely lost on me.

True story. And he doesn't talk back.

Truthfully, I've never been a fan of this holiday and it's not just because I'm single. I know many single people out there hate it because they have to watch couples everywhere shitting their pants with hearts and rainbows out of happiness. And I know many people out there in relationships hate this holiday because they are forced to buy some cliche gift for their special someone. I'm not really sure why I'm not a fan but I do know that it started with my ex and how he ruined this holiday for me.

It was my Jr year of high school and I was so head over heels for my boyfriend. We had broken up for a week but then got back together a few weeks during the holiday season. We went on a  weekend trip to San Fransico with his grandparents and spent the entire time consumed with the bliss of teenage infatuation. We ditched his family and wandered around the city basking in the beautiful holiday glow of Christmas time and under the twinkling festive lights told each other "I Love You" for the first time. Two months later things were completely different and the day before Valentine's Day he broke my heart. After a breakup phone call outside of school where he told me "this isn't going to work" I got home from Cheerleading practice to find a red envelope on my kitchen table with my name written in his tiny scribble. With shaky hands, I opened the envelope to a card that said "Good friends are like Valentine's Day" on the outside and "It's what's inside that makes them special" on the inside. Tears streamed down my face as I threw the card across my living room and went into my bedroom slamming the door. I didn't even notice he wrote "I hope we can still be friends" underneath the hurtful words that the card provided, but I didn't need to. The generic card said it all.

I'm not telling you this story to make you depressed on Valentine's Day or to feel bad for me (although you can if you want, it was pretty shitty). I'm telling you it because now I look back on that story and as much as it makes me ache for my  17 year old self, it also makes me laugh because what a dick move that was. Him and I still talk from time to time and we even got back together for a little bit when we were in our early 20's. But every year on Valentine's Day, I send him a little text or email that says...

"Good Friends are like Valentine's day candy."

Just like on my Birthday, he sends me one that says "Happy Birthday n shit".

Since that Valentine's Day, I've been a little bit more cynical towards this holiday but I don't think my dislike for today has anything to do with that anymore. I think it just has to do with the fact that if you love people, you shouldn't have a designated Hallmark holiday to tell them so. But Demanda also reminded me that this holiday is about friendship (I think she was just trying to get in my pants.) Even though I hate this holiday, I'm still going to take this chance to let you know we love all of you so much. You brighten our lives and you're all so positive, supportive and uplifting. Thank you to all of our friends and followers for being amazing. Hope you have a Borderline Phenomenal Valentine's Day and if we can leave you with any advice, this would be it.

It's A Sad Day In My Borderline Phenomenal Life

Well after months and months of complaining about my laptop having problems and just randonly turning off, he finally passed away today.



RIP Lappy, you will be missed


Lappy was a dear companion for the last six years. He's been through a lot. A month after he was born, someone stole him from my house. He was returned twenty minutes later but my three male roomates got jumped by some  gangstas in the process. Lappy and I were both very grateful.

Two broken noses and a brick to the skull..all for my lappy. Thanks C, C, and T!
(and yes, that's C from Used and Abused looking like a depression ad)

He also had some soda spilled on him two years ago and cost me a buttload of money to fix. But he was worth it because I loved him so. But now I just can't afford to fix him again, because he's old and outdated and needs to go on to a bigger and better place. Computer heaven or the Recycling center.

Seriously no idea what I'm going to do. I have two blogs, a third one in the works and all of my pictures/files from the last 6 years are in lappy's memory. Also was hoping to start classes again eventually. I need to get another one to transfer files over to but unfortunately my credit is horrible. I would say that's all my fault but it isn't. It's due to hospital bills that my insurance was supposed to cover but is STILL fighting on paying.

I didn't mean for this to be a Debbie Downer post but just wanted to let readers know why there haven't been any new amazing posts lately. I have one in the works regarding my birthday but since I have nothing to write on, I might have to sneak in the post while at work on a slow day...hopefully in the very near future. Or maybe I'll get all your addresses and send you a blog post via snail mail.

Thank you for listening to me vent. I should have posted this over at It's Whine Thirty.. if you haven't been over there yet, go check it out. It's an awesome bitching fest over there.  We'll be back soon with our usual funny stories and pictures of all my amazing Birthday shenanigans but until then I'll be writing on my typewriter.

-Jaymes