Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Telepathic Drivers Might Exist.

Okay so it's day 2 of this writing month thing and I'm already exhausted. As it just so happens, this is also the week where my job is SUPER stressful...so I obviously made a super retarded  smart decision in deciding to post blogs/write part of a novel daily. I apologize if my posts are random and shitty.... but if you can bare with us through the next 30 days, we'll be back to regular scheduled programming.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Hopefully it doesn't come to this.

Because Demanda makes fun of me about this on a daily basis (I know. Bitch. But it is kinda funny) I decided to share one of my quirky personality traits with you. I say "quirky" but you might say "annoying". And if that's the case, don't be an asshole.  Ok...here it goes. I like to narrate when I drive. A lot. Actually, that's putting it mildly.

This is me. I know most of you are surpised..you thought I was human.

It's not really so much that I have road rage allll the time.. but I just talk to people. I tell them what I'm going to do and then ask questions like they're going to magically hear me and answer. Demanda says they won't but I think maybe one day they just might. Plus I use hand signals so they can understand me better.

No, I'm not talking about these douchy hand signals. 

So a few days ago, Demanda picked me up for lunch and as we were on the road getting ready to turn into the parking lot of the restaurant, she pulls out these shenanigans.

"Oh my gosh, there's a a car coming, should I go, should I not? What should I do? Do I wait for it to go, do I go first, do I not go? Ok I'l go. Oh no, there's a turn, should I wait, should I turn slow, should I come to a stop? What's that car doing, are they going straight, are they turning, do they want me to turn, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! What do those signs mean, do I make a u-turn, do I keep going, should I park? Are they parking? What kind of car is that? Where should I park? Should I park here? Should I park there? I'll park here."


What a dick.

I laughed so hard that I cried.
We're funny like that. 


miss tejota said...

OMG!!! If I was in the car when you while you narrate I think I might laugh so hard I would fart. Yes, that is exactly what would happen.


Hahahahaha! Best comment ever goes toooooo MISS TEJOTA!

Demanda said...

Ah Miss T! I fart ALL THE TIME in the car with her AND hold the lock down do she can't roll down the windows.. ;)

Seriously, seriously people save me. This story is the story of my life from our house to work -->work to lunch -->lunch back to work --> work back home SOMEONE FUCKING HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Demanda said...



Yes. Someone please help her. And give her a ride tomorrow because now I'm not going to. ROASTED!