Winos and Wigos

One of the things you may or may not know about us is that we love to drink wine. I know, shocking right?? Demanda is strictly a red wine drinker and I used to only drink white. When we lived in San Diego, Demanda used to come home and have a glass of red every night..she said it was "for her health" or something like that.,which was funny because that's the same reason I was drinking vodka.  I decided that I would try REALLY hard to start liking red and maybe if I had a glass a night ya know, "for my health" I'd start loving it too. Well after the first night a few weeks, I fell in love with it and I've never looked back. Except on occasion I'll have some white wine..but usually just when going wine tasting...because hello, you don't wanna waste it!

Speaking of wine tasting.. ever been? There are two (maybe more but I'm not expert) amazing places to go wine tasting in California. The first being Napa of course but the second is the Central Coast, mainly Paso Robles. Lucky for us...we live extremely close to Paso.

I know it's hard to read but those are all wineries. 

If you've never been wine tasting, we highly suggest you stop reading this post and go ASAP (just kidding, keep ready and then go). If you have gone, you know what an awesome time it is. A few years ago we rented a huge limo and got a bunch of friends together to hit up 4 wineries or so for my birthday in February, Demanda's Birthday in October and Daisy Darkside's Birthday in April. It was one of the best birthday's I've ever had. We finished ten a bunch of bottles of champagne on the way up there in the limo and hit up a few of our favorite wineries. If you ever make it to the Central Coast, please go visit these places...you won't regret it.

Tobin James


This winery is usually our first stop. They have awesome wine and even better champagne. Demanda loves their champagne so much that she named her kitty cat "Tobin" (he's an actor now...you can see him on that PetMeds commercial with Betty White..she stole him.). This is also the name of my UPS driver at work... he's never said anything but I'm guessing he was conceived after a good bottle of red.  The Tobin James champagne has earned the nickname "Sure F**k" because when drinking it, you'll think you're the sexiest person on the planet. Total self esteem booster.

If you ever see this, BUY IT! You'll be glad you did. 

We have this gift known as "Champagne Wizardry".. if we all go to weddings or parties, we'll somehow magically find the bottles of this stuff like they just appeared out of thin air. People have learned enough about us to know that if this champagne or wine is near, we're happy campers.

Update:  Our friend Daisy Darkside created a little poem to go with this winery.

ODE To Tobin:

You have a special bond with us
Your bubbles tickle like a mustache
At weddings you give waiters exersice bc they have to constantly run back and forth to pour us more...until they finally give up all hope that the other guests will ever get served and just leave the whole bottle of you on the table
You make us "that table" but we politely sit in the back of the room patiently waiting for everyone else to lighten up, then you help us be the "life of the party"
You magically appear, sometimes two at a time in Jaymes hands
You sometimes make me yell at 13 year old gingers hitting on Demandas boyfriend
You are like a fuzzy hug, and even though sometimes you make me fall off barstools, you always bring my heart warmth and excitement everytime I open up my champagne holder (aka fridge) and see you looking back at me, waiting for the day you are once again in my belly

-Daisy


Clautiere


This winery is phenomenal. Not borderline...but all the way. Not only is their wine awesome but if you make this your second or third stop you're guaranteed to have an excellent time. The reason it isn't a good place to go for your first winery because it's way more fun to visit if you're buzzed or drunk. Because really, who wants to play dress up when they're sober??

Badass.

Yep, this winery has wigs and hats to play drunken dress up with. Everything is cleaned regularly so you're not all wearin someone else's dirty hair but it's SO much fun and way more so if you remember to bring a camera to capture all the memories you'll forget the next day.

Like this. Demanda forgot she wore pubes on her face.

Along with wigs and hats, they also have a sweet mirror room, which we didn't get to go into until Daisy Darkside's birthday. And I laughed so hard that mascara got in my eyes and I couldn't stop crying. It was like herpes of the eyeball and I swear someone poured bleach in my eyes when I wasn't looking. I don't suggest shimmery mascara. It doesn't look any different and it hurts like a mother effer.

Warning: you will cry when entering this room.

I really can't explain how fun this place is unless you've been there or have a room full of wigs and mirrors at home. It's epic..and it gets better every time we go. Some of the wigs are awesome but some are just plain ridiculous.

Jackson's so silly. He tried on the most outrageous wig of all. 

I really hope for your sake that you're able to take a trip to the Central Coast and visit this winery. It's a stellar time, yo. If I haven't convinced you yet, I'll leave you with a few more images that will hopefully lure you in the right direction.

Manly men.

That brunette wig is CRAZY. 

Meow! 

Jealous? You should be. 

Although they weren't drinking, they still had the funniest wigs in the whole place.